Growing up in a dysfunctional family, I felt a deep sense of confusion and alienation from a young age. It wasn’t that my parents didn’t support me—my mother, in particular, did everything she could for me. However, what I truly needed was emotional and mental guidance and understanding.
I was constantly trying to meet my parents’ impossible demands, and as a result, I always felt like there was a hole in my heart. Whenever I had to make a decision, I often wondered whether it was truly my own choice or if it was my mother’s will. I couldn’t distinguish where my own thoughts ended and hers began. At times, it felt as though I was completely empty inside.
My mother had a strong attachment to me, bordering on over-involvement. She was emotionally volatile—one moment praising me endlessly, and the next, getting angry for no apparent reason. This unpredictability left me unsure of how to handle my emotions. As I grew older, I realized that I was constantly walking on eggshells around her, afraid to express my true self.
She often told me, “You are fortunate,” “I have sacrificed everything for you,” and “You are free.” Yet, at the same time, she was highly critical of me. I struggled with a deep contradiction—I felt like I should be grateful, yet I also felt like I was never enough.
One of the hardest things was that, for a long time, I didn’t even realize I had grown up in a dysfunctional family. I convinced myself that I was “a happy, loved, and privileged daughter,” so I couldn’t understand why I sometimes felt overwhelming pain, anger, or sadness.
On the other hand, my father was passive and emotionally unavailable. Whenever I tried to confide in him about my struggles with my mother, he would avoid addressing the issue and simply say, “It’s fine,” or “Don’t worry about it.” Even when I was struggling with an eating disorder, experiencing panic attacks, or when my mother attempted suicide, he still insisted, “There’s nothing wrong.” He never tried to understand my feelings, and since I couldn’t rely on him for help, I learned to carry my burdens alone.
Looking back, I realize now that I never developed a solid foundation of self-trust or identity. My sense of self had not been properly formed.
The Impact of Family on Self-Identity
The way children build relationships with their parents profoundly affects their self-esteem, confidence, and future relationships as adults. If a child’s attachment to their caregiver is unstable, they may struggle with emotional regulation, dependency issues, and deep feelings of loneliness.
Attachment refers to the emotional bond a child forms with their caregiver, and it serves as the foundation for their mental well-being and self-awareness. If this attachment is insecure, they may continue to experience anxiety, confusion, and loneliness into adulthood. Trusting one’s parents is crucial, and when that trust is missing, it often leads to insecurities in future relationships.
The family environment plays a major role in shaping how a child perceives the world and themselves. If parents are emotionally unavailable, inconsistent in their behavior, or dismissive of their child’s emotions, the child may internalize the belief that they are “not good enough” or “unworthy of love.” These early experiences can lead to excessive approval-seeking behavior and attachment issues later in life.
How Hypnosis Therapy Can Help
Low self-esteem, persistent feelings of sadness, unexplained suffering, attachment issues—these struggles often have deep roots in childhood experiences. Understanding the unhealthy beliefs, fears, and distorted values we absorbed as children is difficult to do alone. Many people also develop a habit of constantly criticizing themselves. This isn’t something that can be fixed simply by adopting positive thinking—it requires rewriting the deeper core beliefs that shape our identity.
This is where hypnosis and hypnotherapy can be incredibly effective.
By accessing the subconscious mind, hypnosis helps us uncover the deeply ingrained beliefs that hold us back, allowing us to reprogram our thinking patterns. It enables us to reconnect with our true selves, heal emotional wounds, and break free from the limiting narratives we unconsciously adopted in childhood.
If you find yourself struggling with self-worth, relationships, or unexplained emotional distress, hypnosis therapy may offer the key to unlocking the healing process and rediscovering your true identity.
